I think part of my panic is that I have such a wonderful mom. How does she/did she do it? I'd love to be a mom like her, but how did she learn to be that good? She claims she was even less of a baby person than me, before I came along. I guess a lot of it just comes naturally and I'll figure it out. I know the main thing is just to follow my instincts and to love my daughter and the rest will come. Well, I already love Lila and I haven't even met her - but will I be a good mom to her? I sure hope so. Shouldn't I have some grand ideas or wisdom that I want to impart to her or a list of values and characteristics and a plan on how to give her those? I really haven't thought about that beyond wanting her to be happy and to be nice to other people.
I just can't believe I'm being given such a big responsibility and all I did was.. well, you know, get pregnant! Here's hoping I have some good latent mothering skills that will show up when she arrives. I predict that one of the biggest changes I'm going to go through as mom is focusing less on myself. I mean, it's not all about me anymore!! Not that it ever really was, but sometimes I let myself live in that fantasy world. I know, especially in the first few weeks and months, that I'm going to be focusing pretty much solely on my little baby. It's going to be so weird to know that someone needs me, like literally, for food!! I hope I'm ready for this!
It's definitely not the easiest job but it is so easy and natural to give up your old life and focus on your baby. It's true when people tell you that you don't know how much you can love someone until you become a parent. It changes everything. There is this person that you can't really control who just wanders around and carries your heart with them. It's scary but so wonderful.
ReplyDeleteYou seem like you'll be a great mom and I'm so happy that you have the roll model you do in your own mother! I can't believe it's getting so close for all us Feb mom's!
I liked that post! There are so many anxieties and fears that come along with becoming a mother. I felt the exact same way. Everyone says it just comes natural, and it does. Nothing can prepare you for what you are about to experience. It is one of the most amazing things in the world. The labor is the easy part ;)! Hope you are feeling ok and getting ready! I know I am!
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