I think part of my panic is that I have such a wonderful mom. How does she/did she do it? I'd love to be a mom like her, but how did she learn to be that good? She claims she was even less of a baby person than me, before I came along. I guess a lot of it just comes naturally and I'll figure it out. I know the main thing is just to follow my instincts and to love my daughter and the rest will come. Well, I already love Lila and I haven't even met her - but will I be a good mom to her? I sure hope so. Shouldn't I have some grand ideas or wisdom that I want to impart to her or a list of values and characteristics and a plan on how to give her those? I really haven't thought about that beyond wanting her to be happy and to be nice to other people.
I just can't believe I'm being given such a big responsibility and all I did was.. well, you know, get pregnant! Here's hoping I have some good latent mothering skills that will show up when she arrives. I predict that one of the biggest changes I'm going to go through as mom is focusing less on myself. I mean, it's not all about me anymore!! Not that it ever really was, but sometimes I let myself live in that fantasy world. I know, especially in the first few weeks and months, that I'm going to be focusing pretty much solely on my little baby. It's going to be so weird to know that someone needs me, like literally, for food!! I hope I'm ready for this!