Lila's First Dr. Appointment

Because Lila lost more than 10% of her weight in the hospital and needed to be supplemented, the pediatrician wanted to see her today, at 5 days old. On Saturday, she weighed 7 lb. 2 oz, down from her birth weight of 7 lb. 15 oz. I supplemented her with formula for a couple feedings, but since I'm committed to giving her breast milk for as long as I can, I was able to start pumping with a breast pump and feeding her that way. I'm so happy to report that it is working!!! Our baby girl is back up to 7 lb. 8.5 oz! The pediatrician was very happy and impressed that I am already producing so much milk (about 2.5 oz in 15-20 mins of pumping).

She also had a general well baby check and everything looks great. She is very healthy and happy! Mom went with me to the appointment because Neil is back at work today, and we were so happy to get Lila there and have everything work out. It gave me a lot more confidence as a mom, because I felt prepared and at ease to get her on time to the appointment. Of course I couldn't have done it with out my mama - she fed and entertained Lila while I got a shower, pumped, ate breakfast and packed the diaper bag. We got out the door and Lila was awesome the whole time. She was perfect in the car! Her first car ride home from the hospital, she was not happy. She did great this time in the car and only cried at the office when the doctor pushed on her belly and when she had to get naked. I couldn't believe how good she was. She also pooped at the office, narrowly missing the doc, which I'm thankful for! Luckily I remembered to pack wipes and a diaper. Success!


In the car on the way there!

So after the successful appointment, mom and I got Chick-fil-A, I fed Lila and pumped again and now mom is running off to get some newborn clothes and some other needed items. So, I'm home alone with the baby for the first time. She's sleeping now, so it's pretty easy, but I think I can do this mom thing after all.

Tonight we may attempt her first sponge bath! We go back to the pedi on March 9, when she'll be two weeks unless she has any problems. I may also go in to see the lactation consultants again if I have any problems with her latching on correctly and feeding. I'm just thankful I was able to rent the pump and produce enough milk to feed her and get her weight back up.

Well, I better go check on Lila. I'm so proud of her for having such a great appointment today!

So little time and so little sleep

I have so many thoughts in my head and no time to write them down. I want to record Lila's birth story. For those who don't know I had an emergency c-section after 3 occurances of fetal distress and low fetal heart tones. Scariest most surreal moments of my life.

I also want to write about my feelings about being a mom, how amazing my husband has been with our daughter and with me as I recover physically and emotionally from such a traumatic (but still beautiful) birth, and lots of other details and anecdotes about the last few crazy days.

But there is no time. I didnt even talk to my own brother until today 4 days after the birth. But even though there have been bumps in the road and I've literally slept like 12 hours in 4 days, things are good.

Neil goes back to work and school this week and I'm sad and terrified. Thank goodness my mom is here. I can't drive or do stairs or bend over or lift anything, so it is impossible without help. Neil has really taken the lead while I've been recovering. He is absolutely amazing. Words just can't describe. He's a great dad and husband just like I knew he'd be.

Lila is doing great. She is a good baby but is sometimes hard to settle and seems to have gas and belly issues. Because she lost more than 10% of her weight in the hospital, we've had to supplement a bit with formula, but now that my milk is coming in I've started pumping and giving her breastmilk in a bottle. She is taking to it well. I just hope she's gained weight at her appt. tomorrow. She was down to 7 lb 2 oz in the hospital. She is just so tiny. Poor thing has no clothes because I didnt buy any newborn stuff for her. Hoping to fix that soon.

Well Lila is sleeping on Neil's chest on the couch. Hopefully she is ready for her long sleep of the day. She usually will do one 5 hr stretch. I should probably sleep too.

I hope to update soon with more photos and hopefully at least part of her birth story.

Wish us luck this week. We have a dr appt, nurse home visit and will hopefully be ready for more visitors! Now that I'm feeling better I think I'm ready for that.

Hope to post more soon!

Lila's first bow

She wore it for approx. 30 secs to get the photo. My pretty girl!

Our baby girl

We had our beautiful baby girl this morning 2/23/11 at 10:13am. She weighed 7lbs 15oz. and she was 20 inches long.

Lila Caroline Miller welcome to the world – finally!

Baby by the Weekend

Looks like there is an actual end in sight and we will have a baby by this weekend! I had an appointment today. My blood pressure is fine, Lila's heartbeat was 135. I'm dilated to 1cm and have effaced and softened more. The doctor swept my membranes (which was pretty darn uncomfortable) which might help send me into labor soon. But if the baby doesn't come by Friday morning, I'll go to an appt. at 9am and will be induced later that day. Depending on where my cervix is that morning I'll either be induced with Cervidil first or go straight to having my water broken and/or Pitocin.

My doctor seemed impressed that I've kept it together so far and was happy that I was able to wait until Friday to schedule the induction. That gets us to almost 42 weeks. So we are looking at a likely birthday of Feb. 25 or 26 or at the latest the 27th. So much later than I thought, but my daughter is already teaching me how unpredictable motherhood can be!

I'm so excited to finally meet our baby girl! I am still holding out hope that I go into labor before Friday, but trying to be optimistic if I do have to go through with the induction. I'm just happy to move on from being pregnant to being mommy. I'm so ready. I am scared and anxious about labor but I'm hopeful that everything will go just fine.

I'm going to spend the rest of the week getting last minute things ready. I want to double check my hospital bags, stock the house with some food for when we come home and do some last minute tidying up and cleaning.

I'm thrilled about meeting Lila. I can't wait to see her face and hold her for the first time. I especially can't wait to see my baby girl with her daddy! I'm so happy get this next stage of our lives started and finally become a family of 3!

I plan on posting one last pregnant photo before I check into the hospital, but otherwise you should be seeing pictures of our baby girl here in a few days!

Nearly 41 weeks and mixed emotions

I never really thought I'd be 41 weeks, even though I know a lot of people go past their due dates. I also know a lot of moms that went into labor naturally at 37 or 38 weeks so I thought I'd be somewhere in the middle.

I'll be honest, its pretty tough. I'm bored, of course and my excitement about labor and the baby even is turning into anxiety. And, for a planner like me, the not knowing is driving me nuts. Also I feel like my body is failing me and in turn I'm failing everyone by not producing this baby I promised.

I am also still worried about induction. But I'm trying my best to stay positive. I've been so lucky with this pregnancy. So many women would give anything to be where I am. I keep telling myself that weeks of waiting for my inevitable full term baby is nothing compared to months and years of infertility. I am so lucky but it is still so hard.

So here I am repacking my hospital bags because everything is pretty wrinkled after being packed for a month. I go back and forth from happily nesting and enjoying baby free time with Neil to just sitting on the couch crying!

If I don't go into labor by tomorrow, its back to the doctor to schedule an induction, probably for Thursday.

Please continue to send labor and patience vibes.

Appointment Update: 40 weeks and 2 days

Neil joined me for what was hopefully my last appointment today! Bullet points will make it easier to sum up:

- My blood pressure was 120/88. Yay!

- I'm still not dilated and only about 20% effaced. Boo! But baby is still nice and low.

- Dr. Narandren recommended against inducing this week because my body is still unfavorable and it could be a 2-3 day ordeal that could lead to lots of interventions and possibly a c-section. I trust her and appreciate not being pushed into induction.

- She is still optimistic that I will go into labor on my own soon, but wants me to schedule an appointment for next Monday or Tuesday if I'm still pregnant over the weekend.

- At that appointment she will talk about scheduling an induction for Wednesday or Thursday of next week if that's what we want. Sounds like not very many people go to 42 weeks at this practice. I will definitely consider induction next week if it comes to that.

- We got an ultrasound while we were at the appointment to check and see how Lila was doing as far as fluid, placenta, movement, etc. She's doing great! Her heartbeat sounded good, she was moving around a lot, she was practicing breathing, placenta is still working and there is plenty of fluid. We even got to see her in 3D/4D again, and she's still cute even though she is super smashed in there. We could even see her little fingernails! She needs to come out so mommy can give her a manicure. Those things are getting long! It was great seeing her again and it's wonderful to know that she is still doing fine in there.

- So, we wait. And I feel okay with it right now, really! I want to have a good birth experience and my chances of that are better if I'm allowed to go into labor naturally. I know tons of people are induced and have great experiences, and I might still get induced next week. But it's obviously not a good choice right now since my baby is fine and my body is clearly not ready yet. It's hard to wait, but I've had such a good, healthy pregnancy I don't want to ruin that by making a rash decision about my labor/delivery.

- Symptom-wise, physically... I'm still feeling really good. I'm sleeping well, I'm still moving okay, my heartburn is better, I've adjusted to the numb carpal tunnel hands and I think I can make it through the wait just fine. Mentally..I'm just a little bored and anxious of course. But being an optimistic/look on the bright side type of person, I'm really just fine! The doctor even commented about how good I looked/seemed for being 40+ weeks. I told her I feel better now than I felt 2 weeks ago! Thank you bedrest.

- My mom is coming up to visit tomorrow and will head back home Friday as long as I don't go into labor while she's here! I'm so excited to have her come and stay. It's going to be 60 degrees tomorrow so we plan on getting outside to enjoy the weather. She's going to help me pick up our glider and maybe do some stuff around the house as well. We might also be doing a Hobby Lobby run and working some on Elizabeth's baby shower tasks.

So, bottom line, we are still playing the waiting game and letting Miss Lila call the shots. I sure hope she comes on her own soon. Maybe she wants to wait for warmer weather or wants to be born on her Uncle James' birthday on Monday. Who knows! We'll find out soon and at the latest we will meet our baby girl around this time next week. Can't wait to meet her and become a mommy! I'm so excited!

Happy Due Date and Happy Valentine's Day

I'm 40 weeks today. I so wished to have a baby in my arms by now, but I'm doing pretty well so far with her not arriving on time. There is still a chance she could come tonight! I'm just getting a little bored at home. I am having a lot of cramps and discomfort so I don't really want to do much more than just hang out on the couch, do crafts and go for the occasional walk. I'm trying to be patient and let her come when she is ready.

I definitely feel 40 weeks pregnant. I feel a lot of pressure, I have to pee all the time, I'm sore/achy all over, and I have a lot of back pain. I've been having contractions but nothing is becoming regular yet for any length of time. It's kind of frustrating. As soon as I start thinking I should start timing the contractions, the peter off into nothingness. I'd really love for labor to start in the next two days. So, if you're the prayin' kind, give this little girl some encouragement to come out and/or send me some patience to help me wait for her!

I really don't want to do a 41 weeks pregnant post!

Appointment Update: 39 weeks and 4 days

I'm so relieved! I had a really good appointment today. After one super high false high BP reading, I had three consecutive normal ones! All of them were right around 120/80. Dr. Narendran was very happy with that and attributed it to me being on bedrest this past week. I have very little swelling in my ankles as well. I guess I really did just need to rest and stay home. I'm so happy because she said she would not be inducing me and thinks I will go into labor naturally in the next few days. I made an appointment with her for next Wednesday the 16th, but hopefully I won't need it. And if so, that's okay too. Of course it's no fun to go past my due date, but I will if that's what has to happen! I mean, I've been pregnant since May - what's a few more days?

I'm still not dilated and I forgot to ask about effacement. I was concerned about still not being dilated at all, but the doc was not. She explained that she feels better about someone like me whose baby is really low and is not dilated at all, than a woman who is 3cm and has a baby that is still up high. She explained that since my baby has already dropped that my labor may be a little easier and quicker since Lila won't have to travel too far. Basically once I actually start dilating Lila is going to come right out of there! Hopefully that means less pushing for me! She also assured me that plenty of people who are not dilated at all in the morning can go into labor later that day.

Dr. Narendran also said that she doesn't expect me to go much past my due date since I'm so certain about my conception day and that the baby is already so low. She is the on call doctor Monday night through Tuesday. I'd love for her to deliver Lila! My other favorite doctor in the practice, Dr. Lee is on call the next day. So, we'll see what happens!

Symptom wise, I'm fine for the most part. I'm feeling a lot of pressure and crampiness still. I slept pretty well last night and only got up once. I don't have a lot of energy, but I am trying to conserve what I do have for labor! I'm in a much better mood now too. I was very worried about my BP and the possibility of getting induced. I'm just really relieved and happy that everything is okay. Lila is still moving a lot but the poor thing has to be so cramped. I'm guessing she is a pretty long baby, so she is basically folded in half in there. I'm going to go out on a limb and try to predict her birth length and weight. Keep in mind we have not had a medical ultrasound since week 18 when the baby was like 9 oz! All I'm going on is that she's been measuring on track and the doctor said today she's not too little or too big from what she can tell. My guess: 8 lbs 8 oz. and 22 inches long. Neil thinks she's a 9-pounder, but I think he's nuts.

Anyway, my plan for this weekend is to spend lots of time with Neil, get out and walk (maybe even outside since it's warming up), finish writing thank you cards and probably make a stop by the brand new Chick-fil-A by our house. We actually went already on opening day, but just got a milkshake. Neil absolutely loves Chick-fil-A so we have to eat lunch there the first weekend its open! I hope everyone has a great weekend! Maybe next time I post I'll have some fun baby news!

39 weeks

**this is a post from my cell phone, just testing it out**

I had my official last day at work yesterday. It was an odd feeling cleaning out my office and saying bye to people. Very surreal. It feels good to be wrapping stuff up though. I might still need to work a bit from home but for the most part I'm just relaxing, watching TV, writing thank you notes and doing crafts. I'm just trying to keep busy.

I'm feeling pretty good. A little crampy here and there, a little lightheaded this morning. Lots of pressure low.

My next appt is Friday. I planned it for then in case they wanted to do an induction right away - it'd be the weekend and Neil wouldn't need to worry about work. If my BP is fine I'll hopefully be able to go into labor naturally over the weekend or next week. My two favorite doctors are on call Tues and Wed so if they want to induce next week those days would be my preference.

I'm still nervous about the possibility of induction, but I've heard some positive stories lately which helps. If my BP is high I will do whatever I need to do make sure Lila is safe.

I feel pretty confident that I will go into labor on my own soon!

I just wanted to give a little update. I'm still definitely pregnant. Maybe the next update will have some photos of a cute little baby!

A Friday evening at Labor and Delivery, but still no baby.

Let's just say my appointment kind of sucked yesterday. It all started with me SPILLING my freaking urine sample on myself in the bathroom! Oh yes I did. Darn carpal tunnel. I cannot grip anything. I gained another pound, and then they tell me my BP is super high: something like 150/90. My norm is well under 120/80. Lila's HR is fine, 150s.

Then Dr. Lee comes in. She's my favorite doctor. She's concerned about the high BP reading and tests me again. Still high. She is also concerned about my swollen ankles/legs. I told her I didn't even work that day and they are usually much more swollen on my more active days. She says I need to stop working and writes me a nice little note not to work for the remainder of my pregnancy. She checks my cervix and I’m still firm and closed.

Then she tells me to go to the hospital that night for some more tests and observation at labor and delivery. I was really not expecting that. She says that they will probably release me but she wants to play it safe.

So after I went home and Neil got off of work, we packed last minute things and put our hospital bags in the car just in case they kept us. Then we went to Red Lobster!

So we got to L&D after dinner and they just did a whole bunch of tests in the triage room. I even had to wear a hospital gown! They monitored Lila’s heart rate and checked for contractions. Lila did great. She passed the non stress test really fast and they said she looked really good. I had quite a few contractions that showed up on the monitor, but they were 12-15 minutes apart and not painful at all. I had a few toward the end that were a little stronger, but nothing hurt at all and I never really would’ve known those were actually contractions.

Anyway, they checked my urine, drew blood, and took my BP like 5 times. It ranged from still pretty high: 140/85 to normal: 124/78. After about an hour and a half the doctor on call discharged us because everything looked fine. The nurse was convinced they’d be talking induction next week at my appointment.

I really don’t want to be induced unless my cervix is ready for it. I know that induction births tend to be longer and have more interventions than natural ones, and I really don’t want to go there! A lot of inductions for first time moms turn into emergency c-sections too. Please no! Of course if my BP is really high next week and Lila is not doing well I’ll do it, but I’d really like to avoid getting induced.

So, I’m pretty nervous. All I can do at this point is hope that I go into labor naturally in the next week or at least make progress before my next appointment. That way if they do talk induction at least my cervix will be favorable for it.

So, that’s the update. Modified bed rest, no more work, and operation avoid induction. I’m hoping to try to walk some at the gym if we don’t have too much snow this weekend/week. That’s not necessarily bed rest friendly, but I know it will be good for me to walk.

So, Lila you can come out anytime, little lady!!

11 days until my due date...

Nope, no baby yet!

I moved my doctor's appointment to tomorrow so I don't even have any updates! I moved it so I didn't have to jet out of work early today. I've been home for ice/snow/delivery people for three days and just needed a full day at the office! I'm beginning to wrap things up at work and I'm really excited about that. After working for a little over 4 years at Miami, it'll be really weird to say goodbye for awhile and not be back until summer. It's a very odd feeling, but I'm ready for it.

I'm feeling pretty good. Like oddly good. I've been sleeping well, I'm relatively comfortable, swelling isn't bad (maybe due to not going in to work for awhile), and I've been having a bit more energy when I want it. I mean, I have been taking it easy at home and not doing much, but yeah, I'm feeling good!

I do have a lot of pressure very low, and I've gotten what have felt like pretty bad menstrual cramps which may or may not be actual contractions. They haven't been regular enough to really keep track of, so I don't think it was anything. People assure me that I will just know when it's a real contraction.

Lila is still moving a lot, as always. I'm trying to be extra aware of her in these last few days just to make sure she is okay. She's very good at reassuring me!

I'm starting to feel a little impatient, but not really enough to try to do any natural induction things other than walking and bouncing and moving on my exercise ball. No castor oil for this girl! I just hope that I've made some progress tomorrow at my appointment and that she shows some signs of coming out in the next week. I really would love it if she came before the 14th! I want my Valentine's day gift early!