Thursday, June 30, 2011

My First Day Back

I was completely prepared to be a nervous, blubbering, teary-eyed mess on my first day back to work. I thought I'd cry my whole way driving in, every time I thought about her or looked at her picture, or when a coworker asked about how she was doing.

Well, I was FINE! I almost feel guilty about how completely fine I really was.

A few factors probably came into play in the success of the day:

1. My mom and Neil were both home with Lila (daycare starts next week & Neil had a day off)
2. It was a gorgeous sunny day outside!
3. It's summer in the college town where I work: very few students, easy parking, relaxed office atmosphere
4. I've been at home since February 3rd and pretty ready to come back!

Of course I missed my little girl, but I really liked being back at work. I have a list of things to work on, people to talk to, things to catch up on and to boot - a peaceful drive to work, a beautiful campus to walk around in and my quiet office with a lockable door!

Pumping went very well. I'm so lucky to have an office of my own, a pretty flexible schedule, a great breast pump and a boss who is incredibly supportive of nursing and pumping (she breastfed her daughter for 2.5 years)!

Lila did okay too unless Neil and Mom are lying to me and letting me think she had a great day! Apparently other than short naps, her only issue was not eating very much! She only ate 4 oz the whole time I was gone!! I only really was away for two feedings so it's not as bad as it sounds, but still, I expected her to eat 4 oz per feeding and maybe still be hungry and need more. I left two 4 oz bottles and an emergency bottle of formula if needed. She only ate 2 oz per feeding of breast milk.

We think she either is not used to the bottle, was not as hungry because of the big transition, did not like the taste of thawed milk, or was just biding her time until the "real thing" came home!

Whatever it was it did not affect her nighttime sleep last night. After eating when I got home at 4:30 and again at 7 and 9 she was out for the night and slept through until 6am!

We'll see how it goes today. She has freshly pumped milk to drink, a full night's sleep and a loving grandma to take care of her! But with one day under my belt, I'm very very hopeful that Lila and I both will be fine with this transition. I had plenty of time with her after I returned to work (but got NOTHING else done because I just wanted to hold her and play) and although I did miss her and think of her often at work I was not SAD.

Next week when she starts daycare will be another transition for me and for Lila. I hope it goes just as well. I'm so appreciative of my mom for coming up and taking care of Lila this week while I get the hang of working again and get used to pumping. It is a wonderful thing!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Lila is 4 months old!

Our little beauty is 4 months old! She looks so big and grown to me now.

Lila has really started developing a personality and has changed so much. I just adore her! We had her appointment on Wednesday. Other than the shots, she was very good and happy the whole appointment! My mom went with me since Neil had to work. My mom is awesome! She has been an amazing grandma and such a supportive mom to me as a new mom. Such a huge support and help in every way! Anyway, here are Lila's stats from the appointment:

Weight - 14 lb 14 oz ~ 75th percentile Last month: 12 lb, 11.5 oz (Over 2 lbs in one month!)
Length - 25.5 inches ~ 85th percentile Last month: 24 3/4 inches
Head circumference - 16 inches ~ 40th percentile Last month: 15.5 in

Lila's growing well and the doc was very pleased with her health and development in general! Go Lila! We have had such a fun month. Lila went on her longest drive/trip ever, played in her baby pool, swam in a big pool, went on some play dates and had lots of fun with mommy, daddy and grandparents! More on all that later, but here are her other updates:

Diapers: Still size 1, because I accidentally had Amazon ship me a box of 192 size 1s by mistake. They still work but she's beyond ready for size 2s.

Clothes: 3-6 months onesies, rompers and tops. 6-9 months dresses and pants and some 12 months leggings and pants!

Eating: We are still nursing, and I'm loving it! We happily ditched the nipple shield around 3 months and it's SO much better. She went from 30-45 minute nursing sessions to around 12-15 minutes! It's an amazing difference! She gets the occasional bottle of breast milk or formula so I can stash some milk in the freezer, but most of the time we are nursing. She eats about every 3-3.5 hours during the day. I'm going to pump when I return to work next week! I hope it goes well. The pediatrician said we could introduce solid foods anytime, but I think we are going to wait for another month and then start on rice cereal.

Sleep: Lila was waking 2-3 times a night for the whole month of June. On Memorial Day she slept 11 hours straight and since then she's up every 3 hours or so! It was so exhausting and baffling. I chalked it up to a growth spurt but thought she might be waking out of habit, not hunger. Well, the eve of her 4 month birthday she slept through the night (8 hours) and has since then. She goes to bed around 9 or 9:30pm and wakes between 6-7am. She is still in the bassinet but is almost too big for it. We want to transition to the crib soon.

She naps pretty well during the day for the most part. I've been holding her sometimes for her naps because I'm sad about going back to work and just wanted to soak her in. Now I'm trying to put her in the bassinet or pack in play. We are trying to wean off the swaddle because she busts out of it and clearly doesn't like being confined any more. The problem is without it she has a hard time settling for sleep and just rubs her eyes and scratches her face! We are working on naps with no swaddling and eventually hope to get her night sleep unswaddled as well. We are using a Halo Sleep Sack now because it zips and will not bunch around her neck if she escapes it. On a good day she takes two 1.5 to 2-hour naps and one shorter nap around 5pm.

Developmental milestones:

- Has really found her voice and loves to laugh, squeal, coo and babble
- She found her feet! She loves playing with them and has figured out she can play by kicking toys and can suck on her hands at the same time
- She gets so excited sometimes she flaps her arms and hits her belly!
- Can shake a rattle, pick up nearby toys on her own, loves to examine hanging toys by holding them and turning them slowly
- Rolls from belly to back easily, can also roll from back to belly but just started doing it
- Still sitting and standing with support
- Can stand holding on to furniture for a few seconds
- Smiles all the time!! I LOVE her smile. It's so big and goofy
- Everything she touches goes in her mouth, but no teeth yet! Just a lot of drool!


- Getting some more hair growing in, definitely blond
- She's sporting some scratches on her face due to some fast growing nails and trying to get rid of swaddling
- Eyes are still getting lighter
- People say she's looking more like me
- Sometimes I dress her kind of like a boy because I'm starting to favor simpler comfy clothes for her! I still love her in pink and bows but it's just easier to have her in a white onesie and comfy pants or sweatpants

Lila loves:

- The Jumperoo! She LOVES the toys and she loves standing up on her own! She jumps with alternating legs like she's running. Sometimes she gets scared of the floating frog!!

- Looking at herself in the mirror! She smiles and tries to hug herself
- Other babies and kids
- Water!! Both bathtime and the pool. She splashes now!
- Music and anyone singing to her
- Her grandparents! She loves my mom and laughs so hard for her! She also loves granddad's beard and of course loves playing with Mamaw and Papaw Miller too. In fact they are coming tomorrow!

Lila doesn't like:

- The bumbo
- Getting dressed
- Headbands
- Bright lights or sun

Firsts, Funnies and Memories:

- First trip to Western Kentucky to see family (6+ hour trip). She did great! It was awesome to see my family and have them meet Lila!
- First time in a bikini and in the baby pool and regular pool
- We took her a couple times to the childwatch at the gym, first time someone other than family watched her
- Has started reaching out and grabbing people's faces. My favorite thing is when she gently touches my face and just looks at me and smiles. I melt!
- Sometimes cracks up laughing in her sleep
- We can see a lot of personality coming through. She's very happy and giddy and a little bit of a daredevil.
- Finally took her infant insert out of her carseat
- Her feet and neck are ticklish
- She tries to suck her thumb but I'm trying to discourage it. The other day I caught her sucking BOTH of them at the same time!

Mommy update

I'm doing well. I truly love being a mommy. It's so hard sometimes but so much fun too! I think I REALLY fell head over heels in love with Lila this month. I've always loved her of course, but the first couple months were so hard and I was still recovering physically and kind of missing my old life in a way. She was so little and really didn't do much! I loved her and was very protective of her of course but now that I'm seeing her little personality I'm just enjoying her so much more. I'm really going to miss her when I'm at work!

I only have a few days left with her at home before I go back to work. I think it will be okay. I'm sad of course but it was always the plan to return to work so I just have to suck it up and do it. I think I will enjoy a little more balance in my life and to regain a little of myself back. I tend to over-plan and over-think a lot of things and I was a little obsessive about Lila's schedule and naps and development while I was home. I am happy to turn over some of that to daycare and really just enjoy her and play and teach her things when we are together. I'm also happy to get a little "me time" back and start getting back into my normal groove.

I can't wait to see how Lila changes and grows in the next month. She'll probably be crawling!

Some phone pics:

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What a difference a year makes...

Last year on June 8th, 2010 we got one of these:

Haha, followed by many more just to be sure! To be clear, those are from LAST YEAR. There will be none of that again for a few years, people!

Fast forward to this year on June 8th, 2011, playing in her baby pool!

So lucky to have our little girl. Motherhood is so much harder and better than I imagined. Lila is WAY more special and wonderful than I ever could have hoped for. She's truly the joy of my life! I can't believe she is already 3 1/2 months!