June 15, 5 weeks
Dear Little One,
I just found out about you a week ago, and let me tell you it still hasn't really sunken in. Even though I'm shocked and scared and anxious, I'm also really really happy. We've told a few people about you and they are very excited too. I'm just really scared something might go wrong. I know its a possibility, but chances are, everything will be okay.
Well, little one, you've been giving me some symptoms, but nothing too bad. The first few days, before I knew about you, I was really hot all the time! Do you know you've already ran a 5K with mommy? You don't even have legs yet but we did it in 35 mins or so! I'll take most of the credit. I have only ran about 1 minute since I found out about you. I've been really tired! I have swam and riden the bike at the gym and gone on walks. I'm trying to give you a healthy environment in there and keep myself healthy. I want to try to eat healthier than I have been, but I've been too exhausted to cook or even shop or even think about it! I hope to get better at that.
I go to the doctor next week to find out how you are doing. I'm not sure exactly what they are going to do or tell me - but I hope it puts some of my worries at ease. It's funny that a week ago I didn't know you existed but now I'm so worried about losing you. I'm trying to get better about thinking positive and not dwelling on the bad stuff!
So instead of focusing on negative things, I thought I'd share some of my hopes. I hope you grow big and strong and come out nice and easy in February! You are due on Valentine's Day, which has always been my favorite holiday. You're my little valentine! I can't wait until I know if you are a boy or a girl. I think you are going to be a boy, but as I'm typing now I'm thinking of you as a little girl. I'll be happy either way! I just want you to be healthy and happy!
One thing I've started to do is to think ahead a year from now about what we might be doing. Today is June 15, and if you come on your due date (which is unlikely) you will be 4 months old this time next year. That will be so fun! I might be going back to work then, which will be really hard, but we can do so much fun stuff! You'll be more active and interactive and it will be fun to be with you! We can go to lots of fun places! We will go to the zoo, the aquarium, to friend's houses, to see your grandparents, lots of places! I can't wait. I don't want to rush things though. I know things will start going really fast and I do want to enjoy everything about this experience!
Okay little one, I've got to go. I am working late tonight, until 9 and I've been up since 6:30am. I am really tired! I'm getting ready to go take a walk with Karyn at work. It's so hard being around friends and not telling them about you! I will soon enough.
Bye bye now.
Love, Your Mama