Monday, September 16, 2013

Ughh, it's those working mommy blues

Lila was just acting off this morning. Laying on me, laying on the couch/floor, not eating, saying her belly hurt... after cuddling her and watching her as long as I could and getting her to eat a few bites of toast, I got her dressed and in the car. She had perked up enough to go to daycare and because she was not feverish or throwing up, just acting a little off, I decide to send her.

I hate days like today. I have a class to teach and 2 hours of desk time and really can't take the day off unless she is actually full blown sick, not just acting a bit under the weather. It's a horrible feeling. I think she just needs a lazy day at home with me with some extra cuddles. I'm hoping that sending her today doesn't throw her into an actual sickness this week.

Because I cuddled her most of the morning, I didn't get to pack my lunch, I forgot her jacket (it's about 65 degrees, so I hope she'll be fine at the park this morning) and I got to work so late there were no spots and I had to park in the pay parking garage.

Some mornings are like this - you leave your child, jacket-less in the sitter's car bound for the playground (with a puke bowl, just in case), while you pay $5 to park and $10 for a not-healthy lunch and try not to worry about her all day. I absolutely hate it.

Meanwhile I sit down for a moment at my desk and feel the baby kick, and remember, oh yeah, hi baby #2! I try to drink some extra water before this next class I'm teaching and take a moment to think about this baby a bit. I know I will feel this exact torn, horrible feeling multiple times a week when I leave two little girls at daycare in just a few months.

I feel like I'm in a constant state of hurry and chaos and of being pulled physically and emotionally in 6 different directions. Is this how every working mom feels sometimes? Or is it just the working moms with 35 minute commutes each way? How will I do this with two?

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