Already 3 months old!

What a month we've had! It's been a busy one and Lila has been growing like crazy! She turned 3 months on Monday and we just went to her 3 month checkup today. Here's the update:

Weight - 12 lb, 11.5 oz ~75th percentile Last month: 11 lb, 4 oz
Length - 24 3/4 inches ~90th percentile Last month: 23 in
Head circumference 15.5 inches ~50th percentile Last month: 15 in

What a big girl! She is still long and skinny relatively speaking, but I'm so so happy with her weight gain and growth this month. I feel so much better about my milk supply and I know now that she is getting what she needs. We didn't see a doctor today, just a nurse, but she was very pleased with Lila's growth and said that she's perfect! The nurse was impressed with Lila's sitting and standing abilities (supported by me of course) and said that she seems really strong and advanced for 3 months and that she'd likely crawl and walk early. We shall see! Lila has always been strong and sturdy so I'm not surprised.

Diapers: Size 1, but I'm thinking we need to move up to size 2 because of some recent up the back blow-outs! Lila poops every 1-2 days and they are pretty nasty explosive ones! Luckily it's so loud we always know when to run to the changing table to change her! The girl can poop.

Clothes: Almost all 3-6 months. She can still wear some 0-3 onesies and tops, but because of length, even some 3-6 month pants and jammies don't really fit anymore! I love all the summer clothes she can wear now. I'm still getting used to dressing her for warm weather. I'm got so used to layering my winter baby up - she seems so naked in just a onesie or romper.

Eating: Because we had a rough long growth spurt this month (from 10.5 to 12 weeks old) her eating has been all over the place. She was only eating every 3 hours during the day but during the spurt it was every 1.5 or 2! Now we're at about every 2.5 hours. I'm pumping more and she's getting a pumped bottle of milk most nights. In order to build up my stash for work I'm really trying to find ways to get more milk pumped. One thing we are trying out is giving her one bottle of formula before bed while I pump and freeze that milk for after my return to work. I didn't really want to give her formula, but I think this a good solution to make sure I give her breastmilk for as long as possible. We are concerned about the next growth spurt totally wiping me out. This way we give her a little formula now to hopefully make it through the growth spurt with enough breastmilk to spare. I really want to give her mostly breastmilk for her first year. We've already made it 3 months! Woohoo!

Sleep: Again because of the growth spurt her sleeping has been totally jacked this month. During the spurt she was not napping much during the day (3 or 4 30-45 min naps), didn't want me to put her down and was waking up 2-3 times a night. Before and after the growth spurt she is pretty much sleeping 7-9 hours, usually from 10:30-6:30 or so. I've been really working on getting her to go to sleep on her own for naps (as opposed to sleeping in my arms or falling asleep after nursing). This is going pretty well but she does wake up every once in a while and I have to soothe her back to sleep. She naps in her bassinet mainly and usually takes 4 naps a day around 1-1.5 hours. Sometimes she'll get a 2-hour nap in the morning, but not often. I've tried in earnest to get her bedtime earlier than 10:30, but it was just not working. I tried as early as 7pm and also tried 8 and 9. She just thought it was nap time and woke pretty shortly after. We are working on gradually getting her to an earlier bedtime. A lot of formula-fed babies are sleeping 12 hours at this age. I know I should count my lucky stars for the 8-9 hour stretches we get sometimes, but I just want to make sure she's getting enough sleep.

Developmental milestones:

- "Talking" alot more, coos and laughs!
- Grips and holds toys, can move them from hand to hand
- Can play independently for longer, 10 minutes or so in the bouncy seat or swing
- Rolls over from belly to back, but has only done this a few times
- Can roll from side to side
- Can sit up very well with just a little propping.
- Smiles spontaneously at random stuff and when someone smiles at her
- Bears weight on legs and LOVES "standing"
- Loves sucking her hands, fingers, toys and drools ALOT. I guess this is early teething.
- Doing better at tummy time. She doesn't just mash her face into the blanket and cry anymore! She prefers naked tummy time! I probably do about 20 minutes a day in 5-10 minute chunks.

Appearance:

- Her eyes are getting bluer and bigger
- Still looks like a mix of Neil and I, Neil's eyes and eyebrows and my lips and maybe my nose
- Is mostly a baldy but has some blonde hair on top and sides and darker hair in the back
- Has really pretty fair skin. I get comments all the time about how pretty her skin is!
- She is smiling so much more but has her grumpy times too. Her smile is beautiful!
- Has some dry patches on her skin and head is kind of flaky too. They gave me lotion to try at the pediatrician.
- Her legs are starting to fill out and she has little fat roll legs! So cute.
- She has big hands and tiny feet! I call her "toddler hands" because her hands are huge. She can, however, still wear newborn shoes and her feet haven't really grown much at all since birth

Lila loves:

Standing up
Clocks and light fixtures
Her changing table and chair with the farm animal toys
Car rides and her carseat
Sucking on her hands and fingers
The book "Goodnight Moon"
Being out of the house, she seems to really like Target (lots of stuff to look at on the ceiling)
Other little kids and doesn't seem to mind dogs
Bath time and naked time
Eating! Nursing or any type of bottle - as long as its food she doesn't care.

Lila doesn't like:

Lotion/massage time after bath
Being delayed to eat
Going to bed early
Being out in the sun/hot weather (even with a hat)

Firsts, Funnies and Memories:

- Lila met her new best friend a few days ago! Emmett Thomas Young, born May 19!
- During Lila's growth spurt she cried so much she got hoarse! It was ROUGH! Luckily my mom came towards the end of it to save me!
- I was singing "I'm a Little Teapot" to Lila and she stuck out her arm for "here is my spout".. coincidence, but so funny!
- A funny memory: during a particularly bad blowout poop I had an air freshener up to Neil's nose and we we taking turns changing her but gagging too! It's a lie that breastfed baby poop doesn't smell. It does.
- When we went to visit Sy and Elizabeth and baby Emmett they had friends there with a little boy who's almost 2. Lila loved him! She laughed and laughed and didn't care when he poked her right in the eye. I was a little scared for her to be around big kids but it was just fine.
- We went to Neil's grandmother's 90th birthday party last weekend. It was so fun to see all of the family together. It warms my heart to know that so many people love our little girl!

Lila is doing just great and I'm so fortunate to have another month off of work with her. To be honest, I'd be ready to go back now if I had to, but I'm glad I was able to take an extra month. I'll be off a total of 4 months, and even though I'm so sad to leave my baby girl, I'll be happy to get back to work and have adults to talk to, quiet lunches, time to myself in the car and a renewed sense of purpose other than as a permanent milk supply! I love being a mom but I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM (Stay at home mom). I'd love to work an abbreviated workweek or work part-time (with full time pay - ha) but both of us working and Lila in childcare is the best option. I'll sure miss her though when I go back and I'm sure it will be a hard transition.

I'll post some photos of Lila in her 3rd month a little later. Happy 3 months little girl!

Breastfeeding, tv and mommy guilt

I read an article the other day about how bad it is to watch tv (or text or play on your phone/ipad/laptop) while you breastfeed. Immediately, the mommy guilt crept in. I must be a terrible mother because I don't constantly gaze lovingly at my child while I'm feeding her.

Well, I do gaze at her and stroke her face and talk to her and all those things... But I'm pretty sure if that's ALL I did while she eats I'd either go nuts, quit breastfeeding or both.

I've actually done a whole host of things while nursing: putting on makeup, reading a book, writing blog posts (like this one), talking on the phone, eating countless meals (practically all of them) and yes, catching up on the DVR and watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I actually don't know when or if I'd ever do any of those things other than when I'm feeding the baby.

There is a ton of stuff to worry about or feel guilty about as a parent. Even when you go with your gut and do all you can there is still that fear that you might be failing and will screw up your kid for life.

Even just with feeding the baby, moms are made to feel bad if you formula feed, or don't breastfeed long enough or you breastfeed past a year and a half or 2 years. I sometimes feel guilt about going back to work, for not at least trying cloth diapers, for not having my baby on a good nap schedule, and on and on...

Well I'm trying to release the guilt. I'm doing the best I can and I'm doing what works for me and my family. So, I will continue to multitask while feeding Lila, but I know these moments are fleeting so I will definately try to gaze at her just a little bit more.

Random thoughts

- So Neil has had a break from school the last couple weeks and I'm getting spoiled having him home every evening! He starts up again the 17th for his last 12 weeks of grad school. We'll both be so ready to have our evenings back to "normal"... Well our new normal!

- Lila is going through a growth spurt or a big developmental transition I think. The last couple days she has been fussier, clingier and hungrier than normal. I hope this passes soon!

- Breastfeeding is kind of wearing me out. Mostly due to the recent growth spurt. I know it's best but it's so exhausting physically and mentally. I'm worried about my supply, trying to pump enough to make a stash for work and Lila is starting to eat like a newborn again: every 1.5 - 2 hours for 30-45 mins at a time. Neil has been feeding her a bottle of pumped milk at night just to give me a little break, but she usually still wants the real thing. I so admire women who do this for 1-2+ years but admittedly I also envy people that do formula! I think this is just a rough patch, though. I'm still soldiering on!

- It's garage sale season! Last year after we found out I was pregnant, we got tons of baby stuff at yard sales and craigslist. We went to some last weekend and got a high chair, a take a long swing, 2 sun hats, a bunch of pants for Lila and a few toys too. I love bargains!

- Our bestest friends Sy and Elizabeth are getting ready to have their baby soon. The due date is May 10 and the gender is a delivery surprise. I'm so excited to meet this little girl or boy and Lila is thrilled to have a baby "cousin" to grow up with. Hurry up baby, I want to cuddle a squishy newborn again!

- We have found a daycare for Miss Lila. I was dreading this decision, but I think we found a good place. It's an in-home daycare about 10 min from our house. I have a great feeling about it and there is even another baby girl close to Lila's age starting at the same time. She'll have a little friend! I return to work on June 29. I'm both excited and sad, but having a good daycare has eased my mind a lot.

- I started running again. Well I have once, haha and it was definately a run/walk combo! I'm doing the "couch to 5k" program to work my back up to running 30 mins in a row. I started on week 3 of the plan and I'll hopefully stick with it. I'd love to do the Redlegs Run again this year. Last year I was 5 weeks pregnant and didn't know it yet! Hopefully running will help me lose some more baby weight... I'm still about 15 lb from my pre-pregnancy weight and none of my clothes fit!

Okay enough random thoughts for now!